Why do athlete leave the sport of wrestling? This question is often asked by coaches when their athletes quit or retire from the sport. This represents a heartbreak for many of us. Coaching is like teaching, meaning that it’s a calling and may even surpass in importance things such as our jobs. Most people don’t get into coaching for monetary gains in the beginning. We get into coaching because we have this burning desire to help our athletes achieve their best and to be the best possible versions of themselves. We pour our hearts and souls into this endeavour and when our athletes leave before achieving their goals or reaching their potential, it cuts deep.
From the 2017 Canada Games, all my athletes have left,
Athletes leave for many reasons. It can be due to injury, or other things. Social life, family matters or a change in perspective can also be a cause of this. Regardless of which reason it may fall on, it still hurts when they leave.
In my coaching career, I’ve had many athletes leave the sport prematurely for a multitude of reasons. In that moment, self-doubt sometimes creeps in as you may think that you could have done things differently. Sometimes, you think that one key moment during a practice, competition or even an interaction might have caused your athlete to leave. In the end, more often than not, it’s the athlete and not necessarily you. Athletes don’t always share their thoughts and feelings openly. How we see things from our perspective may be totally different from the athlete’s perspective and as such, affect them quite differently than we may have thought. We’re not mind readers so we can only assume we’re doing our best. To let that self-doubt creep into your thoughts may cause you more harm than good in the long run.
Be it from family interference,
With that being said, the ability to analyze yourself is always the benchmark of a good coach. To think that you didn’t have some small part in that athlete’s decision to leave the sport is unrealistic. Even if you did everything right, by your estimation, some part of the athlete may associate their reason to leave with you, whether it’s true or not. To think that you could have prevented this, or that you would have all the answers to this problem is not always plausible. To also think that you can do it on your own is a fallacy that often borders on ignorance. Thinking that you havent’s made some mistakes in your handling of the athlete is a weakness as well. I try whenever I can, to reach out to different people to get a different perspective on how to handle a given situation. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. It’s just the way things are.
A personal tragedy,
It’s unrealistic to expect athletes to stay forever. What hurts as I mentioned before is that some of my athletes left before achieving their full potential. While you can’t predict the future, as a coach, you can often see where this athlete may peak. Sometimes you know that the ceiling is low, and that’s fine. Sometimes the potential for that athlete is limitless. In either case, leaving the sport prematurely represents a missed opportunity.
Or just lost their drive…..
One thing that we’ll usually never know is if the athlete regrets their decision in the future. In rare cases, you will reconnect with the athlete and they can tell you if they did or did not. But more often than not, especially if the bond was close, a reunification is rare. The hurt which may run deep, can serve as that obstacle to that. Some athletes may say that it was for the best and they have no regrets whatsoever. Some may say it was the worst decision to leave the sport and that they wish they could take it back. Unfortunately, we can’t change the past and that regret will live with them forever.
In the end, most wrestlers from our high school programs leave before their full potential
In my opinion, it’s always better to have tried and failed than to quit. At least you can leave with the peace of mind that you did all you could and that there was no wasted potential. But to a young person, who hasn’t experienced that, they think they know what’s best for them. More often than not, they end fighting with the people that are trying to help them the most before they leave, almost giving them the reason that the coach has lost faith or patience with them, thereby justifying their decision to quit. After this, it’s almost a guarantee that the athlete will leave as they’ve constructed this narrative in their head that they have no choice.
In the end, as coaches this is something that we have to deal with. I don’t think that it gets any easier as time goes on.